Behaving well and working hard pay off! Help your child see the results of his/her efforts - you'll find yourself scolding less often as he/she learns self-discipline.
Tie good behavior to nice outcomes. If your youngster is quiet when you're on the phone, you might say, "You were so patient while I made that call. Would you like to play a game now?" Or when he/she goes to ben with out a struggle, point out how energetic she seems the next morning.
Recognize success. Maybe you'd like your child's room to be neater. Tell him/her that if he/she keeps it clean for a month, you'll help rearrange or redecorate it. By that time, picking up will probably be a habit. And he/she will enjoy the room so much there will be motivation to keep it that way.